(This is a letter I wrote to my brother......to try to cheer him up when he was having a bad day---)
You think you have problems? Here is a very personal situation that I have been dealing with.....Perhaps you can sympathize with my near-crisis.
I have been living in a hotel for several months. And unfortunately, I have plugged up the toilet in this hotel at least once a week. Apparently I have very large turds. Or at least they must be larger than average. Or maybe they are just bigger than the average Georgian turd. In any case, they don't seem to fit down the small Georgian toilet pipes. So then I have to go to the front desk to request the plunger. So now, not only does the hotel clerk know, ....but everyone in the lobby also knows that I have extra wide turds. In fact, I have needed the plunger so often, that Dallas refuses to go request the plunger...he certainly doesn't want everyone thinking his turds are huge. And now, he is out of town...so I can't even try to convince him to go down and get it. And my extra large morning turd has clogged the toilet once again. So I am faced with the difficult decision---do I go down to the lobby to request the plunger? (They go get it and then lift it up over the front desk to give it to you---practically waving it around in the air. This ensures that everyone around can see that you have requested the plunger for your inhumanly large non-Georgian stuck-in-the-pipes turd). So---do I go and put myself through this humiliation again? (second time this week) Or do I wait--hoping that somehow the turd will eventually shrink or disintegrate a bit and become dislodged?? And while I am waiting I cannot use the toilet at all.. ....so this decision is crucial. (because at this very moment I have another large non-Georgian turd accumulating and increasing in size within my colon.)
This is my dilemma.
So-- you think you have problems? At least you are not walking around with a mammoth size turd peeking out of your ass. Makes your problems seem small now doesn't it?
(And tomorrow I will be heading to the store to purchase a plunger of my very own.....)
That a girl! I'm proud of you. You should have taken a picture:)
ReplyDeleteR
;
I did. I will send you a framed and signed photo. Keep it safe. It may be worth money some day.
ReplyDeleteWould this be Georgia the third world country (in which case your turds may not be that big; it's the pipes). Or Georgia the state (in which case you may need to cut down on good Southern cooking). Cheers.
ReplyDeleteHere's my take on 3rd world toilets vs. 1st world. http://thefingerblog.com/blog/research/tdi/
Next time traveling, you may wish to pack your own plunger.