Lingerie: Part 2 (or are we on Part 3 now?)

Another lingerie-and-me saga: At my desk at work...I look down and see two "puncture" holes in my stockings. Clearly these were made by my pretty white cat who enjoys sticking her paw in my drawer (when I happen to leave it open just a crack) and pulling all the stockings out and onto the floor. I think she is well aware that I have a limited supply---particularly of the nice silky ones I like that can only be purchased in the U.S.
On another note: Look for me next week looking tres chic, wearing a lovely white fur collar attached to my winter coat.....

mmmmmm......stockings....

The many faces of London

...a collage of photos taken during our recent visit to London

a very scary story.....

it was a bit dark..and so as I walked past the large picture window and briefly glimpsed the reflection in the glass, I was startled and a bit frightened---someone was following me. I felt the fear creep up my back and just as my nerves began to jump, I looked again......nobody was following me----turns out it was just my big ass. ...there behind me. (and that is even more frightening...)

My Life of Daily Humiliation

Note to Self: In the future, when changing clothes in your office at the end of the day and carrying your work clothes to your car.... please carry lingerie such as your stockings, in your purse, preferably in an enclosed and zippered pocket.
Work tip for the day: It is very unprofessional to stand around with co-workers laughing about the pair of worn stockings laying on the ground next to the Commander's office door...(particularly when you later discover that they are YOURS)
.... my entire department (including me) spent the whole day laughing about the stockings laying by the Commander's door.... Finally, at the end of the day, someone picked them up. But it wasn't til I got home that night..... putting away my clothes that I noticed that MY stockings were missing.....uh oh. Just another incident where my dignity is slaughtered and laid out for all to see.

Dog Eat Dog

What's worse is I have seen similar behavior exhibited by Dallas over a slice of pizza.

Youtube Debut

Green Day Concert: My 3-second debut on youtube--Great concert! ....I peek into the camera and then look away disgusted---must be due to the crazed sweaty guy jumping up and down next to me (my brother).

VIP passes courtesy of my life-long friend Nancy and her brother

Reasons I love PMS hot flashes

1. Summer clothes are cheaper than winter sweaters and coats. So you can just wear summer stuff all year 'round. Better yet, join a nudist colony and save on clothes altogether.
2. You always have a nice reddened flush to your face (as if you just exited a burning building)
3. All that heat generation must be burning an incredible amount of calories.
4. Good excuse to eat something cold......like icecream.
5. You get extra exercise by taking your sweater on and off and on and off and on and off.
6. The winter heating bill is very low (since the heat is now permanently off in order to keep the house at a near freezing level).
7. Terrycloth sweatbands are bound to come back in style soon.
8. Nobody notices sweat stains when your entire shirt is soaked. The uniformity of the sweat just makes your clothes look one shade darker.
9. You can convince everyone that you are really into working out .....whenever you are hot and sweaty just state "yeah, just got back from the gym...had a great workout".
10. Save money not buying deodorant. It no longer works anyway.....

Sleep deprivation gone awry

I was so tired this morning that instead of shower gel...I put Pantene conditioner on my bath sponge. Well, at least my skin will be manageable and shiny. (hey...it was an honest mistake--the bottles ARE both white with a blue cap!)
And hey---it coulda been worse.....at least I didn't brush my teeth with Vagisil.

A very special Thank You

Dear Facebook~
Thank you so much for sending out (without my permission) those 444 invitations to all my contacts inviting them to join Facebook. It was so exciting today when I was looking at my contacts, searching for a few close friends to invite to Facebook, to suddenly see....."CONGRATULATIONS ! You have successfully invited 444 friends to join Facebook"
(I swear I didn't click on a thing). Since Gmail stores everyone you have ever emailed as a contact---- EVERYONE I have ever emailed in the last decade has now been invited (by me)to join Facebook. And they all received a nice formal email invitation with my current photo right there, embedded in the invitation (just in case they need the face to go with the name....). This included so many wonderful people, such as.... my gynecologist, my lunatic neighbor, one of my paranoid patients, my evil co-worker, the Count de Lichtervelde (my landlord),the crooked company I recently complained about, ebay helpdesk, the entire HR department at work, my lawyer's secretary, the medical technician who does my annual mammograms (cuz you know I want HIM on my Facebook page!) as well as the 226 people who have sent me spam in the the last 3 months. I am sure they are all as thrilled as I was to see that invitation to join Facebook and the special request to be my "friend". So thanks again for making sure that all those whom I never want to hear from again, will be posting messages to me on Facebook daily and viewing all my personal photos and notes. (hey--- maybe even my gynecologist will post some as well...)
I am now going to bed..wishing I could click "undo"