For those who have time to burn.....here are my tales of cat vomit, culture shock American-style, faux pas involving large turds and lingerie (not in the same stories thankfully), Gynecology exams gone awry, and other misadventures.....all true (although at times, names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent).

Followers

Monday, November 19, 2012

mmmmm.....BACON.


At the end of a therapy session....

Patient X:  (with VERY heavy accent/Southern drawl) Ya know....you really are jest like a bacon.
Me:  (what????)   I am?   Well......thank you.    I happen to think bacon is great. 
Patient X:  A bacon is great.   Yur personality is just like a bacon......from thuh naaht sky above us. 
Me:  (has he stopped taking his meds???  oh crap....maybe he is having delusions right  now!)  
Me: (in my best calming therapist voice)  Sooooo.....tell me about the bacon from the sky.   
Patient X:  I am trying to tell you! It's like this.....you draw othahs in tuh-ward you.......like a bacon.  
Me:  Okaaaay.... Tell me a bit more about the bacon.
Patient X:  I am jest usin a figger of speech!!  ....comparin' you to a bacon--a bacon of light!
Me:  Bacon of light?  Oh...wait.....you mean beacon of light!  
Patient X:  That is what Ah said!  A bacon of light!
Me:  Well--- thank you.  That is a very nice thing to say.  And I like beacons almost as much as I like bacon.  So, thank you, thank you very much.
Bacon of Light....we really do exist.

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