I'm feeling a little blue (a dark navy, heavy wool kinda blue)

At a Civil War Musket firing demonstration in the deep South:

Musket Firing Demonstration Person (MFDP):  (using a long, winding, barely-understandable Southern drawl) So...I am wearing the uniform of which Army?

Person in Audience (PIA):  Confederate Army!

MFDP:  Right! (audience claps and cheers)

And this musket is from which Army?

PIA:  Confederate! 

MFDP:  Right again! Very good! (audience claps and cheers)

And this Fort you are visiting was held by which side in the Civil War?

PIA:  Confederacy! 

MFDP:  Right! Excellent! Such a smart crowd! (audience claps and cheers)

And who were the ones who wore the navy blue uniforms? What were they called?

Me:  The winners! ........ (awkward silence and not-so-friendly stares)

You know, I don't think the South has quite gotten over it.

This year's Valentine proposal...

Laying in bed watching a Valentine-ish movie.....

Me:  Hey!  Wanna be my Valentine?

Him:  Sure.  (thinks a bit) What does that involve?  

Me:  Not much....treat me like a queen, do whatever I say, let me have my way and be right all the time.

Him:  Oh, ....you mean act like I do every other day of the year.

Me:  Pretty much.