why i am a night person

7:00 alarm goes off. hit snooze.
7:08 alarm goes off. hit snooze (can skip breakfast).
7:15 alarm goes off. push cat off head. hit snooze (can take a really quick shower).
7:23 alarm goes off. wipe cat drool off neck. hit snooze (can really hurry).
7:31 alarm goes off. crap. I'm going to be late! throw back covers. (cats go flying). jump out of bed.
7:38 finish quick shower. dig through ironing basket in hopes to find something with minimal wrinkles. find skirt and sweater.
7:47 dry hair. use extra gel as hair has static and little pieces are sticking up on top of head. (why do I have little short pieces of hair all over the top of my head?) realize that cat kneading head with claws every morning has probably caused broken hair. curse cat.
7:55 look for contact lens that has been inserted but somehow has disappeared into the nether regions of eyeball.
8:00 locate contact stuck to wrist.
8:02 put on makeup trying to ignore cats clawing at legs and biting ankles.
8:06 give up. feed cats.
8:09 back to makeup. what the...... oh great. where did that big red blotch come from? try unsuccessfully to cover red blotch with heavy makeup.
8:13 clean up cat vomit.
8:16 clean up additional cat vomit. curse cat.
8:19 put on tights. why is the crotch at my knees? dig through drawer for another pair. while putting on tights, fingernail punches through and makes big hole in thigh. put on skirt to see if hole will be covered. hole is just below hemline. curse tights.
8:23 frantically look through drawer for another pair of clean tights. find old pair in back of drawer. (only have hole in toe. fine)
8:25 get bag. look for keys in bag. no keys. search house for keys. no keys.
8:32 call husband's cell phone to ask if he has seen keys. he hasn't.
8:33 still no keys. consider calling in sick (could stay home and clean house that is now torn apart due to looking for keys).
8:35 find keys. (in coat pocket)
8:36 go to fridge for protein/health beverage to drink in car. grab drink. put drink back. grab snickers bar.
8:38 leave for work (late) with hair sticking up, wearing wrinkled skirt and faded tights, red blotch showing through makeup, coat covered in cat hair, and chocolate and caramel stuck in teeth.