The grass is always greener in someone else's teeth

For me, Leicester Square is the heart of London. It is packed with people, street performers, park benches, restaurants, nearby theatres and more importantly, Ben and Jerry's. We hang out there often to people watch and eat icecream. So, there we were sitting on a park bench in Leicester Square when a gentleman in his 80's (or possibly 90's) sits down next to us. He is wearing an expensive looking tweed suit with a matching tweed hat. Expensive looking but also antiquated.....probably at least 50 years old (and most likely the first nice suit he ever bought). He looks over at Dallas----(now I have to tell you that everyone talks to Dallas---EVERYONE--on planes, in stores, on the street, in restaurants, and in Leicester Square.). So the nice elderly gentleman looks over at Dallas and says (in a very proper, nasally English accent), "Excuse me....but could I ask you a question?" I immediately turn away, smiling---I know something good is coming. Dallas answers "Yeah, sure." (Now I am really smiling). The man goes on, "I just had a salad and I was wondering if I have anything green stuck in my teeth". He then bares his teeth at Dallas in a large grimacey-smile. At this point I am laughing out loud and really not trying to hide it. I also notice that a young guy on the bench across from us has been listening in and he too is laughing. We catch each other's eye and we begin laughing harder. Meanwhile next to me Dallas is closely examining Mr. Tweed's teeth looking for signs of greenery. "Nope, looks good" he remarks. "Why thank you", says Mr. Tweed, who then spends 30 minutes discussing how he hates to go anywhere with green in his teeth, and how the place around the corner does not know how to make a proper salmon sandwich, and how he meets his friends for tea every day at a cafe' and how Henry always brings some lemon because some of them like lemon in their tea and this cafe' does not have lemon......etc. Later that day ---in Leicester Square again--another guy (this one wearing a cap with the original price tags still hanging on it) starts up a conversation with Dallas. He begins by giving him a lecture on how important it is to be positive in life (true) and ends with how lucky we are that the aliens have not abducted us (hmmmm....also true). I was waiting for him to get to the part about how the aliens use anal probes on their subjects. Fortunately he never got to that point....