For those who have time to burn.....here are my tales of cat vomit, culture shock American-style, faux pas involving large turds and lingerie (not in the same stories thankfully), Gynecology exams gone awry, and other misadventures.....all true (although at times, names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent).

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Saturday, August 14, 2010

translation really is not translation

Things I will not miss about Belgium....

me: Hi, I am here for my appointment.

lady: stares silently

me: Um...my doctor's appointment.

lady: That is not possible.

me: Well... it must be possible. I have an appointment today. I wrote it down very carefully in my calendar, took the day off at work, and drove all the way here.

lady: No.  It is not possible. What is your name? (I tell her)

lady: No.  Your appointment is on August 13.

me: Yes, I know. And that is today---August 13th.

lady: No--the appointment is for August 13, THREE-ZERO.

me: blinking rapidly with a stupid expression on my face, trying to understand what just happened...then suddenly I know.  What? Nooooo....that's THIRTY, not THIRTEEN. (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH---the scream now occurring in my head).

lady: Today is not possible. You can come on the thirteen (by now it is clear she means thirty)

me: No, THAT is not possible ...since I will no longer be in Belgium…..and will be living in a far off land where thirteen is clearly thirteen and thirty is definitely thirty.

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