21 years overseas has left me feeling like a foreigner here in the US of A. Everywhere I turn is some new, strange concept that I try desperately to digest and understand. And I can now see how Europeans find us to be utterly incomprehensible. Today I turned on the TV (for about the 3rd time in 3 months...I haven't worked my way up to any more often than that). Surely with 362 channels I can find something interesting or even mildly entertaining. This is some of what I found :
1. That's My Mama! (the sequel to "Who's your Daddy?")
2. Gastrosophia (possibly a documentary on Sophia's gastrointestinal problems--not for the squeamish)
3. Never Rake Again! (this was apparently a movie about the advantages of over-logging the rain forest)
4. Bosom Buddies (Remember that series? Tom Hanks in drag...what would Wilson think?)
5. Lonely Divorcees: Filthy Ho's (I swear--I am not making these up!)
6. Best Bra Ever (This show was taken off the air due to lack of support)
7. Corn College TV (filmed in Iowa apparently)
8. Bareknuckle Beatdowns 2 (while living overseas, I missed Bareknuckle Beatdowns part 1. I will have to get it on DVD)
9. Shark Vacuum (in the same product line as the Dolphin Toaster, the Sea Cucumber Mixer, the Jelly Fish Blender, and the Giant Squid Electric Can Opener)
10. Winter's Bone (This may have been on a Pay for View channel..not sure)
11. Salvation Station (at first I thought it was called Salivation Station....now that actually sounds more interesting)
12. Hip Hop Abs (endorsed by Kanye West who says " Hey Suzanne Somers....I'm real happy for ya, and I'ma let you finish, that Thighmaster is OK, but the Hip Hop Abs is the best exercise gimmick of all times!)
13. Dive, Olly, Dive (Run, Forest, Run)
14. Suffering Joints? (A sad movie about the pain felt by Marijuana growers world-wide)
15. and last but not least.....Sarah Palin's Alaska (I ran screaming from the room)
And this is where I turned the TV off. Wouldn't you?
Please, don't anyone try to explain to me what any of these shows are about....I don't want to know. Really.
Thank you.
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