For those who have time to burn.....here are my tales of cat vomit, culture shock American-style, faux pas involving large turds and lingerie (not in the same stories thankfully), Gynecology exams gone awry, and other misadventures.....all true (although at times, names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent).

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Saturday, December 24, 2011

My Corn-tucky Christmas


We are in Kentucky for Christmas this year.  You might be a Kentucky Redneck if you find yourself singing this version of the holiday song.....(written and sung .....by me)

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me....

Twelve cans of Bud Light                                    
Eleven stained wife-beaters
Ten overflowing ashtrays
Nine trips to the dollar store 
Eight clerks with missing teeth
Seven tatoos on Santa
Six guns on display
Fiiiiiiiiiiive family fights
Four chainsaws running (while we hauled wood)
Three deer heads (hanging above the holiday tree)
Two RVs in the drive aaaaaaand......... 
One bottle of Homemade Moonshine

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