Having recently returned to the US after 23 years of living overseas, I have found myself often perplexed---confused by American customs and some of the things going on around me. (i.e. they were not part of the American culture when I left the country in 1989). For example, when did we start buying drinks at the local gas station that are no longer small, medium or large, but instead are small pitcher, big jug, and gigantic barrel sized drinks? And when did TV begin showing commercials which tell us about some great new drug which promises to cure our depression.....but oh-by-the-way may cause our eyeballs to explode, our intestines to drop through our asses, hair to grow on our tongues or some other minor side effect? (all the while the commercial shows an attractive blonde woman picking flowers while a warm breeze flutters the ribbon in her hair.) And now we have a fast food burger called The Baconator? (Half pound of bacon, half pound of beef, a couple slabs of cheese and one ton of grease. Yes, my European friends---this colon-choking, bacon-loaded, grease-oozing American treat is real. I am not making this up.)
Well, all these changes have made me feel very uncool. Out of sorts. Unhip. I remember my first week back, living in a hotel in Georgia. I was on the hotel elevator with a young (very cool) guy. He began complaining about how he had made one 10 minute phone call from his hotel phone and how the hotel had charged him some outrageous amount for the call. I said, "Wow, that really sucks. At least you didn't talk much longer." He replied "WORD". I then said the first thing that popped into my head. I said "To ya mutha." He looked over at me. And I clarified. "um...I meant...Word to ya mutha". He smirked and said "I like your swag." Well, I had no idea what my swag was or why he would like it, but I was pretty sure that it must be cool, since he seemed very cool. (And, in my defense, how often does one get to quote Vanilla Ice?)
The next day at work, in the middle of a therapy session, one of my patients asked me "By any chance, are you married to a black guy?" Confused, I attempted to nonchalantly look around my room to see if I had some office decoration that might make him think this. I said to him. "No. Why?" He then told me "Oh, I thought you were. Cuz you got swag."
There it was again! Immediately after the session ended I got on my computer and googled it. I had to know what this swag was and why I had so much that people were now noticing it. According to the Urban Dictionary...Swag is "the way in which you carry yourself. Swag is made up of your overall confidence, style, and demeanor. Swag is a subtle thing that many strive to gain but few actually attain."
So now I was feeling much more hip! For a very uncool, dorky redhead, I was making progress! (nevermind that I had to look up the meaning of a word apparently well-known by cool people.)
And now I will continue on my quest for coolness. It seems that it will be an ongoing struggle as I learn to adapt and eventually pick up new cool American phrases and habits. I plan to read the Urban Dictionary in its entirety. I'll keep you posted on how that works out. I fear that I may just be too old-school. But with my killa swag I might just pull it off. Cuz that's the way I roll.
WORD.
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