For those who have time to burn.....here are my tales of cat vomit, culture shock American-style, faux pas involving large turds and lingerie (not in the same stories thankfully), Gynecology exams gone awry, and other misadventures.....all true (although at times, names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent).

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Monday, September 21, 2009

You live WHERE??!!

9-21-09 Belgium is a beautiful west European country that is bordered by France, Netherlands and the North Sea. Brussels is the capital of Belgium and the currency is Euro. Belgium experiences mild winters and cool summers. Belgium is famous for its medieval castles and Gothic cathedrals.
Often referred to as the ‘Essence of Europe’, Belgium is a wonderful place to visit. It is known for its beer, chocolates and waffles.
Do you know Belgium is the only country in the world that brews 800 different beers and 400 different flavors of beer?
Virtually every Belgian beer has its own special glass, and that beer (and only that beer) is always supposed to be served in it. This applies to bottled beers too, not just the ones on tap! Adds a whole new complexity to bar tending, doesn't it?
Belgium produces 220,000 tons of chocolate every year. When calculated, per person consumption comes to 49 pounds of chocolate per person per year on average. The world's biggest chocolate selling point is the Brussels National Airport (where you will be flying to if you come to visit me).
The only man-made structure visible from the moon is the Belgian motorway system, which is visible as a small glittering spot due to the many, many (orange) lights all along the motorway network.
The world’s main diamond center is Belgium. Almost 90% of raw diamonds in the world are negotiated and distributed in Antwerp, Belgium.
In 1815, the Congress of Vienna defeated Napoleon Bonaparte in Waterloo, which is a city in Belgium (15 minutes from where we live). After this defeat, 124 cities around the world were named Waterloo.
After World War II, Belgium played an important role in laying the foundation for the European Community. Today, Brussels is the capital of European Union (EU). Brussels is also the Headquarters NATO.
Brussels' Royal Palace is bigger than London's Buckingham Palace.
French speaking Belgium is the world's biggest producer of comics.
It is a Belgian who founded New York City.
The first printed newspapers in the world were published in Antwerp Belgium.
Belgians claim to have invented french fries and indeed all Belgian towns have their own french fry stands (friterie).
Europe's first sky scraper was built in Antwerp, Belgium in 1928.
The world's richest girl lives in Brussels (Athina Onassis, grand-daughter of the shipping magnate, Aristotle Onassis)
Belgians are the most avid users of discount coupons in the world (Americans come in second).
Ludwig van Beethoven's family originated from Belgium.
The Atomium is a structure built for the World Fair of 1958. Designed by the engineer André Waterkeyn , the Atomium is a 335 foot tall structure that is a model of an atom of iron crystal, magnified 165 billion times! It is located in Brussels.
The official languages spoken here are Dutch, German and French, though the friendly people of Belgium try their level best to speak English with every tourist and try to help as much as they can! In Belgium, the North speaks Flemish, the South (where we live) speaks French, and a tiny part in the East speaks German.
The people of Belgium are very fond of pets and invariably each household will be rearing a cat and a dog. The country has imposed a trade ban of cat and dog furs along with five other countries in Europe. In a country with a population of around 10 million, there are more than 2 million pet animals of domestic dogs and cats.
Coffee is enjoyed by many and the quality is excellent, but the concept of the American-style coffee shop (like Starbucks) simply doesn't exist. If you want to stop for coffee, you visit a café and you sit down and drink coffee from a real cup, with saucer and spoon...all of which is brought to you. There's no such thing as carry-out coffee, and I'm guessing that they'd find the concept of drive-thru coffee utterly ridiculous. (Wait...news flash! I have just been informed that Belgium has moved into the 21st century and has TWO Starbucks---two, in the entire country)
For environmental reasons grocery stores will not provide you with paper or plastic bags for free. They charge 5 cents per (very small) plastic bag, and I haven't seen the paper ones at all. Most people (ourselves included) purchase sturdy, reusable bags for €1 each from the store.
Grocery stores do not sell medication of any kind - only pharmacies can sell those items, and they are identifiable by a big green cross (just like the Red Cross' logo, but green) over the door.
Don't expect the quick or "hovering" services you get from US waitresses/waiters. You will wait for your menu...wait for your drinks...wait to give your order....wait for your food. You are not supposed to wolf down your food in a hurry. You are to leisurely enjoy your meal---in fact, if you make a restaurant reservation, that table is yours for the night! You and your friends or family are expected to sit and eat and relax and eat a bit more and drink some and talk, ALL NIGHT LONG. You can do this without waiters interrupting you or plopping down your bill.
(I must admit, I was recently back in the States and found the countless visits by the waitress very annoying). Oh--Water is not free in restaurants. No glass of water and certainly no pitcher of water will brought to your table! You must pay for bottled water when you go out to eat. And forget about free drink refills or free ketchup or ice in your glass. Be prepared for wee little tiny almost-shot-glass size drinks. You may need several during your meal. (Usually our drink bill---for bottled water and coke---is bigger than our dinner bill). The Big Gulp has not yet arrived in Europe. (but then again....neither have the big asses that are so common in the US)
Flies, spiders, and mosquitoes ....OH MY! That's right---no screens in Belgium. Don't worry --you get used to it. And actually you may like it. There is nothing like having a crystal clear view of the neighboring castle and feeling a strong breeze in your room on a hot day!
Kissing---as a greeting! No hugs, no handshakes, no waving hello~ Belgians KISS...on the cheek of course. If you are about the same age as the person you are greeting, one kiss is the rule in Belgium. For someone at least ten years older than you are, then three kisses is seen as a mark of respect. This could be hazardous -- especially if you are not good at judging ages!
When out in public, you have to pay to use the toilet! No peeing for free. There is usually a woman sitting near the door of the restroom. You can pay her when you go in or when you come out. (We like to call her Madam PP) Actually, you can pee for free if you want to do it the Belgian way.....just find a dark corner (or any corner will do---even a well-lit one) and simply--pee in it! Or you can pull over to the side of the road and turn your back on all the traffic (act as if no one can see you) and pee right there by the road. (I will admit that I have never seen a woman do this---only men seem to have the "pee for free" privilege)
In most Belgian towns there is a weekly market with smelly fish guy and smelly cheese guy (well, the guy himself doesn't smell). They also sell fruit, vegetables, flowers, bread, fresh farm milk and butter and other strange market items such as ladders, jewelry, knives, underwear, live chickens, sausages, pet beds, and pots and pans.
Nobody works on Sunday! Most stores and businesses are closed on Sunday. You are supposed to be enjoying life with family and friends---NOT shopping....or working! No seven- elevens or other 24 hour stores either. And sadly---no Wal-Mart.
Forget your wonder bread----soft, white, fluffy (and non-nutritional) bread is not available here. Most bread is whole grain, freshly made with a thick crust. Oh--except french bread of course, which is a very long, tube shaped loaf of white bread with a crunchy crust.
Pets are allowed in stores. But you are also supposed to let your dog "go" only in designated public spots. These spots are marked on the pavement with a painted picture of a dog lifting his leg. (really!)
To warn drivers about impending road construction, the Belgian's put up strobe lights. Nothing helps me avoid an accident more than flashing strobe lights blinding me just before a construction zone! Oh, and they also have these weird mannequins they place along the side of the road with long shaggy wigs and (mechanical ) arms that wave up and down in a psychotic-like attempt to warn you that the road is being worked on. (These are somewhat scary and have been known to cause alarmed drivers to run off the road). And if you are sent on a detour due to road construction, you will follow signs and follow some more signs and then suddenly all signs will disappear! You will now be completely lost (due to those detour signs taking you out in the middle of nowhere).
Trash here is sorted. Plastic and aluminum in one trash can. Paper in another. Glass in another. All other trash in another. So you need 4 trash cans in your kitchen AND you can't use just any old garbage bags----you have to PAY for special trash bags! They cost about $1.50 a bag. (Bet you never knew that trash bags could be so special!) And if you don't use these bags.....they don't pick up your trash.

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