step 1: hold cat's head gently yet firmly. open cat's mouth & put pill into back of throat. massage throat and hold mouth shut until cat swallows. talk soothingly to cat & release restraints on head. praise cat for doing a good job.
step 2: retrieve from blanket the pill that cat just spit out. repeat step 1 without swearing
step 3: repeat steps 1-2 until pill is mushy and pretty much useless
step 4: start steps 1-3 over with new pill and get a drink (water for the cat, something stronger for me)
step 5: success! YAY! go to bed feeling accomplished
step 6: awake in morning to find the pill in the cat's bed. hold back urge to strangle cat.
step 7: push new pill into a small bit of cheese. put bit of cheese in cat's mouth. hold shut
step 8: watch orange foam (mixed with white foam from pill) come out of cat's mouth as cat growls angrily
step 9: give up and go to work. (is it my imagination or is my cat actually SMILING???)
don’t even think about it.
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