Delirium

I'm a little delirious right now (from lack of sleep, excess stress, and well...I'll spare you the details of the rest). But I feel like writing anyway.

I have now lived overseas for 18 years. I have been to 40 countries and learned so much from my (mis)adventures. I would like to share some of my newly acquired knowledge with you...

Ever wonder where the worst drivers in the world are? I found them-----in ...Egypt! And of course the seatbelts in the taxis do not work. So you find yourself gripping the seat with your fingernails (those that you haven't bitten off). But they are very clever salesmen. The constant efforts to get me into their shops were getting tiresome. So when one guy kept pressuring me and asking me what I wanted, I said "I want nothing". He very promptly replied, "I've got that! I've got nothing in my shop! Come into my shop!"

Ever wonder where the worst food is? I found it---in England. I mean really…black pudding?! It is not pudding at all (but it is black) and totally disgusting---and blood sausage ranks at the top of my list of things I will never eat. First of all, no food should ever have the word blood in it. Second of all, well there is no second of all…that's enough of a reason to keep it off your plate. (And remember—it was the English who also came up with that "figgy pudding")

Ever wonder what the strangest country is? I found it---Russia. They just don't quite get it yet. They are really giving the whole market economy/capitalism thing a shot. But it isn't quite right. You no longer have to wait in line to buy bread, but water is more expensive than Vodka. Cigarette vendors make more money than teachers and doctors. The Moscow subway stations built during the Stalin years look like palaces, but the people live very poorly and most make a salary of 50 dollars a month. I flew to Russia on the Russian airline, Aeroflot. I got to the airport for my midnight flight only to find that my reservation and ticket (paid for) had been cancelled. As I stood at the "customer service desk" (and I use the term loosely) I noticed their customer service flyer. It proudly stated, "AEROFLOT---WE VALUE OUR OPINION". On the flight the attendant asked if I would like a meal. I asked, "What are the choices?" She replied, "Yes or No". That pretty much sums up Russian attempts at tourism.

(I am so tired …I stayed up the last 2 nights until very late. So now I am exhausted and a bit delirious. This morning I washed my face with hair gel...hey c'mon, the bottle for my face soap was very similar)